Saturday, September 25, 2010

Turning Over a New Leaf

Do you ever question people’s motives? Can you spot self-interest and selfishness a mile away? Do you look askance at your fellow primates? Well, I do not, not anymore. Sure, there's a lot to get worked up about.  However, we need to remind ourselves from time to time that life is good, do we not? Like the Neoplatonists of old, we ought to find repose in beauty, goodness, and truth.  I mean, heck, evil and corruption—negativity of any kind—are ubiquitous. We’re going to die someday. Check.  People are hypocrites. Check.  Stories of killing, maiming, raping, cheating, and robbing headline our newspapers and provide fodder for novels. Check.  We’ve all defecated in our pants at one time or another.  Double check.  (On an unrelated note, I cannot figure out why I don’t receive invitations to dinner parties.) Many of you have realized by now that I can get quite lugubrious and morose. One of my readers wrote in about my narcissistic drivel and woe-is-me attitude. In fact, like the Danish prince, I have of late lost all my mirth. I therefore decided the time has come to turn over a new leaf. Henceforth I will restrict my commentary to uplifting topics, themes that put a smile on your face and make you feel good. I’m taking to heart Paul’s advice to the Philippians: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirableif anything is excellent or praiseworthythink about such things. I agree. So I will no longer talk about serial killers and genocidal maniacs. As far as this blogger is concerned, they will keep their murderous hands in their pockets and sheathe their machetes.  I have also taken unpleasant aspects of our mundane existence, such as vomit and diarrhea, off the table.

Here I go. I……I like flowers. Flowers are cool, not that I’m gay or anything like that. At the same time I have gay friends, so I’m not saying that....I should add that they’re not close friends, which is okay, by the way, it’s just that….What I mean is that…I did my laundry today…..that was cool, I guess. Love and friendship….Those are good things, right? Puppies are cute and all. I like dogs a lot (but not in the way you're not supposed to like them.) I believe in love and have faith in faith.  People are good and decent; they just get confused once in a while.  It happens.  The next time you're out in public take the time to embrace a stranger and tell them how much you appreciate him or her.  I like to laugh, but not at someone's expense.  Sometimes I just laugh for the heck of it.  Are you ticklish?  Me too.  I didn't know that life could be so wonderful.

There! I saw the glass half full.  I've encouraged my readers with some encouraging and uplifting sentiments.  That’s not so bad. You can expect more uplifting sentiments and loving thoughts on this blog.  Needless to say, this blog has just become hundredfold more interesting.

Postscript: I'm well aware that the phrase "turn over a new leaf" refers to turning a new page or folio (leaf).  However, being a huge autumn freak I couldn't resist the maple leaf.