Hello, my name is Der Viator and today marks the beginning of my blog. I’m so excited, and I trust you are too! Since I’m part of a witness protection program, I can’t give you my real name. All I can reveal is that I live somewhere in the Upper Midwest; I’m a very attractive male (or so I’m told by many; I personally don’t put much stock in what they say, though); I have a weird uncle named Hezekiah; and Rudy “Knife Edge” Ginomazzini alone is responsible for sitting behind bars, not me! No doubt you’ll find this site a source of wit, charm, perspicacity, and no small amount of humility. I realize you’re probably sitting alone in some basement room like me, with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red in hand and staring at your dried urine on the wall. If you’re able to multitask, then check out my blog too, and time will fly by as you await the sweet release of death.