Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Humans Everywhere

I see humans everywhere.  I can’t seem to avoid them.  I’m not complaining, mind you, just stating a fact.  Don’t believe the hype.  Contrary to what you might have heard about me, some of my favorite living creatures are humans; they’re not all bad.  But sometimes I’d like a little respite from these wonderful biped mammals, so I can enjoy some quality Der Viator time alone.

For instance, I went to the coffeehouse on Monday for a mocha and cinnamon scone with the intention of gathering my thoughts and working through issues.  So far so good, right?  Well, let me finish please.  Once I got inside the place, I found myself in a Lion’s Den of humans.  One of them, a portly male in his fifties, was coughing into his morning paper, while two females at another table were cackling so loudly that I earnestly feared I’d bust an eardrum.  When I went to the grocery store last night for a carton of milk, I suddenly felt lost in a sea of humanity.  Again, humans were everywhere, pushing their carts into mine, grabbing for cans of this and bags of that.  I went to the park this past weekend because the weather was so nice, and what did I find there in great abundance?  You got it: humans!  So much for enjoying nature!

To give you an inkling of the problem, here is a list of places I visited this week that humans tainted with their ubiquitous presence: the bookstore, Manny’s Bar & Grill, my daughter’s soccer game, my other daughter’s track and field meet, McDonald’s, a Turkish bathhouse, a military base, the gas station, the bank, Wal-Mart, the Turkish bathhouse again, the DMV, an auto parts store, the gym, the university, yet another trip to the Turkish bathhouse, Dairy Queen, and a rock concert.  Humans everywhere!  Today I caught myself in the mirror and was reminded of my own humanity.  Perhaps these humans that annoy me so much are not too different from myself, I thought.  Why should I begrudge them for filling up space when I too seek the same experiences?  After all, these loud, hairy creatures are simply going about their business as I do.  Once I stopped looking in the mirror, however, I came to my senses.   That’s bullshit.  Humans are everywhere!