Monday, May 23, 2011

The Conspiracy Theorist (2/2)

Conspiracy Thinker: “So our government caught and killed Osama bin Laden, right?”

Benighted Soul: “Yes, of course, that’s what the reports say…”

Conspiracy Thinker: “Wrong!  Wow, you’re more naïve and ignorant than I thought.  It’s not your fault, though.  I mean, heck, you’ve been duped by the government into thinking that.  The so-called education system here in America is nothing but a tool to dumb us down and keep our minds numb.”

Benighted Soul: “Yeah?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “Oh yeah.”

Benighted Soul: “Well, it’s in the news…from tons of news sources, so…”

Conspiracy Thinker: “So that makes it true, huh?”

Benighted Soul: “Look, I’m just saying that….”

Conspiracy Thinker: “That’s what they want you to think.”

Benighted Soul: “Who?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “What?”

Benighted Soul: “Who’s they?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “Who?  The government, that’s who they are!  And not just the government, but the bankers and corporate world who control the purse strings, those who operate behind the scenes like puppet masters.”

Benighted Soul: “It’s possible, I guess…”

Conspiracy Thinker: “Damn straight. Open your eyes, man.  It’s just like the Kennedy assassination all over again!”

Benighted Soul: “What do you mean?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “The mafia and the government colluded to kill the president.”

Benighted Soul: “How do you know all of this?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “I’m an informed citizen who seeks out the truth, come what may.  That’s just who I am.  I refuse to succumb to the lies that are foisted upon us.”

Benighted Soul: “So have you read any books on the Kennedy assassination?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “I can’t remember.  But I’ve done research on the internet and have seen documentaries and movies…”

Benighted Soul: “How do you know your sources are reliable?”

Conspiracy thinker: “How do I know?  Trust me, they’re reliable.  The bigger question is how you can rely on the propaganda machine otherwise known as the duplicitous U.S. government.  Freedom of the press?  That's a big joke.  They're bought and paid for by the powers that be!”

Benighted Soul: “Can we go back to the death of Osama?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “There you go!”

Benighted Soul: “Excuse me: the so-called death of Osama?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “That's better.”

Benighted Soul: “Does it matter to you that Al Qaeda in fact admitted that he was killed in the raid?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “Absolutely not.  First of all, who is this Al Qaeda? It’s an American-made organization that wreaks havoc in the world so that good old Uncle Sam can justify its wars and oppressive taxes.  Geez.  Next thing you’ll be telling me is that Middle East terrorists were responsible for 911!  The ridiculous hijacked-plane theory.  Please!”  [He laughs.]

Benighted Soul: “It didn’t happen that way?”

Conspiracy Thinker: “Oh my poor boy!”