I’m ashamed to admit it, but I would kill a man for a dish of guacamole. If someone stood between me and that precious avocado dip, so virescent and refreshing, I’d take that person out in a heartbeat—man, woman, or child. Obviously I'd be sufficiently armed. I'm not stupid, nor am I particularly brave. Anyway, if that's wrong, then I don't know what to tell you. I can’t help it. Don’t judge me. I’m not a violent person. I'm really not. I abhor violence. Guacamole is the exception, though. Well, the only other exception would be tortilla chips, seeing as how the two go together, you know? If I had just one more exception it would be a margarita. Actually, that is an exception, another one. So if you stood between me and chips, guacamole in a molcajete, and a mango margarita with salt, I'd probably do something I'd regret later, after I had stuffed my face and took a little siesta. By the way, the Aztecs invented guacamole and they killed people all day long. So I think I'm allowed a little violent tendencies here, okay?